My Top 300 Songs of the 2000s – 260-251

Today I continue my ongoing feature showcasing my personal picks for the best songs of the past decade, posting ten songs at a time.

260. The Teenagers – Homecoming

All of my guy friends find this song pretty hilarious, yet every girl I’ve ever played it for is repulsed by its lyrics.  Think of “Summer Nights” on Grease, but with a techno beat and the word “cunt” in the chorus.  You know what?  I’ll just let the lyrics speak for themselves.


Guy: I fucked my American cunt

Girl: I loved my English romance

Guy: It was dirty, a dream came true, just like I like it, she’s got nice tits

Girl: It was perfect, a dream came true, just like a song by Blink 182

And like Grease, it’s a singalong.  Hilarious, right?  Maybe?  Ladies?

259. Franz Ferdinand – Jacqueline

These guys wore on me after the first album, but that debut was pretty excellent.  While “Take Me Out” is the Guitar Hero-blessed track we’ll hear from these guys on classic rock radio twenty years from now, the opener “Jacqueline” ultimately stayed with me longer.  The crooning voice, the slow, strumming guitar, and the sudden plodding of a danger-zone bass line give us a great intro to an English band that might pass as a lounge act, but in the end, they just want to rock.

258. Tool – Schism

Lateralus was a pretty excellent album, segueing Tool into the new millennium with a more savvy songwriting ability than on their 90s efforts Undertow and Aenima.  And while that sound would grow undeniably stale on 10,000 Days, we must focus on the positive that was that 2001 album and its monstrous first single about a jaded relationship, “Schism.”  Same old Tool, just even more structured and progressive.  If anyone was making nu-metal look dumb, it was Maynard and the boys.

257. Chingy – RIght Thurr

Chingy is a great example of a genre gone awry; hip-hop was over-exposed, over-done, and over-saturated with sub-par artists in the mid-2000s.  There’s no denying that Chingy (what happened to him again?) embodies a time of disposable pop-rap music.  He had three or four hits, all sounding about the same and all with the same misogynistic subject matter.  It was the sound of the times, at least for some people.

With all that said, this track is pretty bangin’.  There’s a reason it was a hit, and that’s because it’s infectious and it makes you wanna dance.  And the video is a cutaway ass-fest.  So shake it.

256.  Born Ruffians – This Sentence Will Ruin/Save Your Life

Before they were trying too hard, Born Ruffians were a quirky, jangly, screechy, and incredibly cool band.  Their edge was dulling by the time they recorded a full-length, but their self-titled debut EP was pretty innovative for its time (2006) and featured this not-so-singalong track, showcasing the jangles of indie pop mixed with Luke LaLonde’s unmistakable yelping vocals.

255. One Wolf – Roads

Like most One Wolf songs, I don’t know, or really care, who Daniel Markham wrote this song for/about.  Markham’s lyrics are vague enough one can relate them to their own lives, and that’s exactly what I did with “Roads” and the rest of that self-titled debut album.  The summer of 2008 was pretty tough for me emotionally, and the soothing sounds and “I know, right?” lyrical aesthetic of the disc got me through the worst depression I’ve ever had.  One Wolf might have saved my life.

One Wolf – Roads

254.  Caviar – Tangerine Speedo

Railing off the late-90s novelty alt sound that had invaded radio, Caviar burst onto the scene with their only hit, a song about a guy on the beach wearing, well, a tangerine speedo.  It’s as if the Bloodhound Gang decided to record “Good Vibrations” by the Beach Boys and were too drunk to remember the song, so they wrote their own song instead.  Bonus points for the over-rocking of the theramin before Octopus Project even existed.

253. Minus the Bear – Knights

While I didn’t enjoy Planet of Ice in its entirety, MTB has their moments of pure excellence, channeling staple indie acts like Guided By Voices.  “Knights” is a perfect example of a bipolar rock vibe the band gives off; at one moment they are coasting through a soft rock melody, then the wailing guitar enters for the solo.

252. Ghostface Killah – Be Easy

As far as rap goes, Ghostface established himself in the 2000s as the most reliable Wu-Tang killah bee.  We could talk all day about his spotless repertoire in the past decade, or we could just listen to “Be Easy,” an impeccable highlight from Fishscale and a fine example of the prowess of one of the best modern rappers of our time.

251. Foo Fighters – Lonely As You

The problem that Foo has had in recent years is the failure to put the energy of their killer live shows onto an album.  While on stage they give it all, in the studio, Foo Fighters feels like a day job.  They didn’t used to have this issue.  Remember the excellent Colour and the Shape?  One By One is the lone great album this decade from a band out of ideas.  And while the album has a plethora of excellent tunes, “Lonely As You” has always been my favorite.

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