New Lou Reed/Metallica Is Hilariously Bad
Last month Lou Reed told the Guardian he thinks this new Metallica collaborative album is the “best thing” he’s ever done. But if this first leaked track, and the Soundcloud comments that accompany it, are any indication, longtime fans of neither will agree. As if the name of the project, Lulu, wasn’t awful enough.
Of course, we’ve been expecting dreck from Metallica for a while now. Depending on who you ask, they’ve either sucked for ten years, twenty years, or always (choice C is correct). So what’s Reed’s excuse? What is it with legends nowadays tarnishing their legacy with half-assed collaborations with more modern has-beens? I thought Reed fell off the deep end when he delivered that one-note Killers tune, but here he babbles meaningless playwright-influenced prose over tired guitar crunches, only to have Hetfield step in and remind you what shitty band is delivering the clashing background music. Hetfield, as usual, growls his angsty nonsense in an exaggerated manner, only to have Reed come back and read some more, sounding consistently confused.
Best thing you’ve ever done, Lou? Someone needs to listen to Transformer again.